Friday, September 9, 2011

No first day

School is now in session. Normally this would mean new school supplies and a new outfit or two. However, for the first time since preschool, I AM NOT GOING BACK TO SCHOOL. For some reason, this saddens me beyond belief. I loved school. I loved school supplies. I loved the first day when everything was special.

I recently found out that I was accepted into the Purple Rose actor/director lab. I am really excited.

Other than that, I don't have much to report. Last weekend I went to Grand Rapids to see my best friends. I had a fabulous time and enjoy every minute that we are together.

 I am going to create another blog with a different purpose. I will upload the link as soon as I figure it out.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Pity Party for one, please

It has been about a month since my last entry. I've had a lot of highs and lows during this time.  Isn't it crazy that when one bad thing happens you dwell on it? You consider every little thing that happens a part of this bad karma that you have going on. I've been stuck in that cycle and am trying to break free.

As of my last post, I met with my agent and she suggested I take an acting workshop to prove to her that I can act. The man in charge of the workshop(a  soap star!) e-mailed her and told her that I did a great job.
I also won a free lesson with the guy which I have yet to take.

After the work shop I planned on visiting my dear friends in Grand Rapids. I packed my car and started out on the 2 hour journey. About 15 minutes into the trip, I hit another car and had a fender bender. My car looked like a can opener had its way with it. I was devastated. Everyone was alright, which is the most important part of this story. The other people involved were very mean and made me cry even harder. Luckily, the police officer was an amazing man who helped me out beyond my comprehension.However, this negative event began a downward pity party that I held for far too long.

Since the accident I have been a very nervous driver and passenger. I am so scared to be in that situation again. It also cost over$700(Thank goodness for insurance) to get my car fixed. Also, my Agent hasn't called even though she said she'd be submitting me for films.

The party climaxed when I went to an audition and the directer asked how much I weighed and after I told him asked if I eat a lot of McDonald's. He also commented on how I was too big to play the lead role (WHICH IS FOR A 10 YEAR OLD GIRL). This hurt my confidence and self esteem more than I will let on. This is about when my hip started hurting again. I've been having hip pain since high school and have been to Physical therapy 3 times for it.

After this I decided to give up on the pity party and add some positivism into my life. I hosted Sparks in the Park with my Mom. Over 10,000 people saw this event and I will be able to add host to my resume. I ended up getting a paid role in the movie with the ruse director, which I shot today. The director also said that he would change things so I could have a lead role. He also mentioned that he was filming a new movie and that he would like me to be in it. I'm not sure that I want to do this because the man really hurt my feelings. However, it is nice to know that I did a good job. I also have been going to chiropractor regularly to get my hip back in non limping condition.

Lastly, I found out that I will be going to California next week. I hope to make connections to help my career.

The point of this blog is that feeling sorry for yourself doesn't help anything at all. It adds more stress and unwanted emotions. So the next time that you feel like having a pity party, put away the pinata and go for a run (that is if your hip can handle it) .Clear your head and think of something positive.

Happy Fourth of July. A big thanks to everyone that fights or has fought to keep this country safe. Bet your bottom dollar that these people never had a pity party.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Hello Sunshine!

I've haven't updated because I have nothing to report. I'd rather not write a blog with my day to day activities because it is, to be frank, BORING.

As for my career, I'm not having any luck. I've been e-mailing people like crazy but they aren't responding. I'm meeting with my agent on Thursday to discuss things so hopefully that will bring some auditions/jobs my way. I am getting extremely antsy to perform. I've taken to making face book videos for my friends to get my creative bursts out.

                                                 Rhinoceros, Grand Valley State University

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Unemployed

It has been 18 days since I walked across the stage to get my diploma. In those 18 days I have e-mailed, called, and researched information on films in Michigan. What has come out of  this work, you ask? Nothing. Everyone is struggling. Sensible people who went to college for non artistic majors are unemployed.
It has only been 18 days. I have to remind myself of this fact. It seems like forever.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Graduate.

I am a college graduate. I have a bachelor of arts degree in theatre.

WWWHHHHAAAATTTTT.

Yesterday was the big day. Things were perfect. I have nothing to add. Tomorrow I am moving home and starting to work towards my future goals. Today I will enjoy the day with my best friends. I will not think about the goodbyes that will take place. I will not think about uncertainty. I am living in the present,

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Week and Some Change

Today is April 19th. That leaves 11 days until the big day.

Yesterday I bought my cap and gown, which was odd. I tried it on when I got home and marched around the room to pomp and circumstance. I guess I march to the beat of my own drum ( badum-chhh)

Any way some interesting things have happened since I last updated. I failed a research paper. Yes, I FAILED a research paper that I worked on for 3 weeks. I'd understand if I wrote it the night before, but no, I put a lot of effort into the paper. I like writing and have always been good at it so this 50% came as a surprise. I went to the teacher's office to talk about my grade (mostly to see if there was a mistake). There was no mistake, she hated my paper. As she tore me apart, I may have cried. That's right. I cried in a Professor's office...A teacher who didn't know my name before I entered her office. It was embarrassing to say the least.

I'm over that now (OK, I still think about it sometimes and cringe). As for my career- I received an e-mail
address for a director. I will be following up on that as soon as I finish this entry. I also found out that a Jason Segel Emily Blunt movie is coming to Michigan to be made. I would love to get a part in that, heck I'd love to be an extra. I'm going to call my agent and see if there are any parts that I could fit. Yippee.

 This weekend is the Chicago trip with my girlfriends and I can't wait. After that, one week of finals and I'm outta here.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Farwell Tour 2011

Today I begin my farwell tour.

It's 1:46 am and I am too sad to sleep. Everytime I close my eyes I think of the goodbyes that will be happening soon. It really breaks my heart to acknowledge what is coming up.

Today, I say my first goobye. My dear friend is leaving for Germany followed by Italy and it will be about a year until I see him again. Today I called him just because I won't be able to do so in a couple of days. This upsets me for a variety of reasons. Despite missing my friend, this means that the end is really here. I used to judge his departure as something in the far away future. Now April is here and it is being bossy. I feel like everything is in shambles AND I don't know how to say goodbye.

 Not goodbye , but farwell. I should google that. All I know is that I'm going to be a hot mess tomorrow. Dylan- Thank you for putting up with my theatre jibber jabber and seeing so many plays with me. And thanks for setting me up with my best friends. I'll miss you. See you in a year.
(The Core Four + Moore)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

One Month

ONE MONTH.

Yes, you heard correctly. One month until graduation. This next month is going to be horrible, but i'm going to make it fabulous.

Things to look forward to:
1) Trip to Chicago with my girlfriends
2) Holding my diploma
3) Entering the real world
4) Really trying this acting thing
5) Sleeping


Things to not look forward to:
1) Homework
2) Finals
3) Research papers( I've got a lot of those)
4) Saying goodbye
5) Moving out
6) Re-moving in( no offense mom and dad)

I have a lot to do and a lot to think about. I can't believe this is happening so quickly. I feel like yesterday I was a freshman in college who was sad for the year to end. I can't believe 4 years have gone by so quickly.

                               My very best friends from  Freshman year. Things have changed ,
                                          but they understand me better than most people.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

How Not to Say Goodbye

    I've been pretty mean to my friends lately. I don't mean to be but it just kinda happens. They told me its because I'm trying to distance myself so it makes the separation easier on myself. According to them, it wont work. 

     If you've read my other two entries, you know how freaked out I am about the future. Last night was one of the few nights I've slept in a long time. However, what I'm concerned about is leaving the familiarity of my school and friends.

     In a couple of weeks- POOF- the past four years will seems like a strange dream. Many of my friends are also graduating. Who knows when or even if I'll see them again. I also have a few friends that will still be in school. Is it lame to visit your old college as a post-grad? I remember in high school it was sooooo lame for the grads to come and visit. Are things different now?

I've also started to create a break-up mix for my roommate. After living together for 3 years, I told her that its time for us to break up. My mix CD will include:
1) Don't Speak- No Doubt (Just for the line " I feel like I'm loosing my best friend:
2) I Will Remember You- Sarah McLaughlin
3) Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely- BSB
4) All By Myself- Celine Dion
5) Those you've known- Spring Awakening
6) For Good-Wicked
7) Goodbye To You-Michelle Branch
.....and more for only $19.99 you can have a copy too.

I don't care if a Mix-Cd is out of date, but for now it's better than being mean.

                                                                   (The Core Four)

Friday, March 18, 2011

To-Do List

My to-do list is awfully large.
The first item on my list:

E-mail any type of connection that can help me get a job. This includes so many people that this list is a little daunting. It has been a week since I sent out to do this and I've only e-mailed one person. And no, they haven't responded.

The second item on my list:

Research what maid of honor duties entail. Also,  figure out bridesmaid dress as well as creative gift ideas.

The third item on my list:

FIGURE OUT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

There are 6 weeks until graduation. I need to get my act together.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Graduation

I am graduating from college on April 30th. What does that mean?

The end.
The beginning.
The future.
Uncertainty.

Its pretty embarrassing when people ask me "what's next". I've never been spontaneous. I like making plans  and lists and knowing what I'll be doing. This is the first time that I've "free willied" this whole life thing. It is rather exhilarating. However, the feeling of freedom is soon shadowed by my over whelming fear of failure. Why didn't I apply for grad school? Why don't I have a job lined up already? Why, why, why...That is all I seem to be asking myself. The biggest why question that I ask myself every so often is:

Why couldn't I pick a normal career?

The majority of the actors in the world are unemployed.With or without a recession. I picked this career because it is something that I feel passionate for. I feel a hunger to succeed. I remind myself of this fact every time I wake in the middle of the night with a knot in my stomach.

I decided to get a blog so I can share information about what a freshly graduated person who is entering the real world does to get a job. I hope to share experiences about breaking into the acting world .

Wish me luck, I'm going to need it.